Day 2 - 1994 words in 3 hours - click for the days notes

Jessie kept pulling the letter out of her pocket, reading the words over and over:

“Dear Miss Kent,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the “Intensità” program here at Conservatory di Senesino. Please read over the enclosed brochures carefully. They are filled with what you will need to know about both the program you are in as well as the conservatory in general.

We will be contacting you in short order to set the exact date and time to sign your impegno contract but we have set a tentative date and time of July 21st at 8:30 am. Please review the attached copy and bring it with you to your appointment. Make note of the times and the amounts listed as well as your donatore information.

Also, please be prepared to perform a piece of music in your primary area of study. You are scheduled to perform during the prestazioni class on July 23rd....”

Jessie kept thinking about that performance. She had heard of the prestazioni class; the class where the students perform every week for the students and faculty as well as the donatori and the patroni of the school. She wondered if her donatore would be there to watch her. She wondered if she even met her donatore. She had met so many that were interested in her talents that all of their names and faces had run together. Jessie started to root around in her book bag for the envelope that the letter and other information had come in. After she pulled out the large, white wrapper emblazoned with the conservatory logo, Jessie pulled out the copy of the contract that she was sent. She quickly located the information mentioned in the letter.

“A. Justino,” she read out loud. Jessie tried to place a face with the name, but she failed miserably. She had met so many people, she just couldn't remember who that was. Jessie did remember that there were several members of the Justino family that were donatori and she had met several of them. She thought she would probably know who it was as soon as she saw them again.

Jessie continued to look over the contract. She got a thrill every time she looked at the information. She knew she was a good singer, but this contract confirmed it. She was to be housed in the luxurious, multi-room appartamenti that were reserved for the advanced students, she would receive a stipend of $1000.00 a week, all of Jessie's medical, vision and dental appointments would be covered as well as all of her other incidental expenses. There was a huge price to pay, however. Jessie knew that she would have to pour her blood, sweat and tears into her training as was noted by the “$250,000 and/or 5 years of service for every year of education” price tag in the contract. Also, the notation of “fino a aspetti” in the length of training field let her know that this could be a very long process. This could take two or three years if not longer. There could be no slacking or it would get very expensive very quick. Her schedule already included one hour of warm-ups as well as two hours of solo practice every morning, seven days a week. Add to that chorus, ensemble, secondary instrument instruction, dance rehearsal, sight singing, language study, and physical training that she needed to sign up for once she arrived for an additional eight hours a day five days a week and you would end up with a very full & tiring schedule. But, even with all of the hard work ahead, Jessie was both excited and a little scared.

Jessie turned her thoughts back to her first performance. She made a quick mental note of the songs she already knew. She wanted to make a good first impression, but she also wanted to avoid anything that was too complicated since she didn't know how many people she would be singing in front of. She decided that “Caro Mio Ben” was out, along with the “Habanera” from Carmen and any of the many versions of the “Ave Maria.” Jessie also figured that it was the wrong time of the year for any of the Christmas arias that she knew. This was proving harder than she thought.

-----

Jessie shot out of bed with a start. She finally had the song she was going to perform. It came to her in her dreams, the melody threading through the scenes in her mind. It was a minor part, but it was different. She was sure that the song probably hadn't have been performed many times in public. As she went off to her practice room to find her trunk of music she started to hum the tune, the lyrics running through her head:

“Il vecchiotto cerca moglie,
vuol marito la ragazza;
quello freme, questa è pazza.
Tutti e due son da legar.
Ma che cosa è questo amore
che fa tutti delirar?
Egli è un male universale,
una smania, un pizzicore
un solletico, un tormento
Poverina, anch'io lo sento,
nè so come finirà.
Oh! vecchiaia maledetta
Sei da tutti disprezzata
E vecchietta disperata
mi convien così crepar.”

This was going to be a very different performance, indeed.

-----

Jessie looked at the clock on the wall and compared it to the clock on her dressing table.

“Ten minutes,” she muttered to herself. Jessie was nervous. This was going to be her first role where she had a solo. The part itself was minor and the solo didn't have anything to do with the story, but Jessie was nervous all the same. Berta didn't do much, but what she did do was stellar. Jessie went over the lyrics again in her head. She was hoping that she didn't mess them up. Jessie was only 17 and she had only been in the opera company for a year and, other than being a back-up understudy in the company's production of some little-known comic opera from the 1500's. Jessie checked over her costume and makeup in the mirror. She wasn't unfamiliar with the transformative effects of pancake, but the effect used to make Jessie look older was mesmerizing. Jessie studied the lines & creases along with the spots and dots. She was transfixed.

“FIVE MINUTES!” the stage hand yelled as he circulated around backstage. Jessie was startled and broke from her trance-like state. She didn't know if she was ready for this or not, but it was going to happen. Jessie took one last look in the mirror.

“Yee-haw, boys. Let's git-r-dun,” Jessie sighed as she took a last look in the mirror. They would call for her soon. “I can do this,” she whispered. Jessie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She filled her mind with a song her mother used to sing to her when she was little:

“Summertime, and the living is easy
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich, and your ma is good looking
So hush little baby, don't you cry.

One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing
You're gonna spread your wings as you take the sky
But till that morning, there's nothing can harm you
With your daddy and mammy standing nigh.”

“We're ready for you, Jessie.” the stage hand interjected, disrupting Jessie's reprieve.

“Thanks, Jim,” Jessie said as she turned to leave. “To my mark, good sir!” Jessie exclaimed with a flourish. The stage hand smiled broadly, offering Jessie his arm.

“As you wish, milady,” he said as he led her to the side of the stage. “Don't forget me when you're a big star,” Jim quipped as he let Jessie to her side of the stage.

Just before the curtain opened, Jessie turned toward Jim who was standing in the wings and offered him a small wave.

“Thank you,” Jessie mouthed before turning to face the curtain. Jim just smiled like he won the lottery.

-----

Jessie reviewed the application carefully, retracing every word and checking every line and question. After finding the document satisfactory, Jessie turned her attention to the music she listed on the application. With a copy of the play list in hand, Jessie initialized her disk burning software and opened her music player program. She knew she had all of the songs she listed already ripped to her computer, she just had to find them now.

For all the times that she teased her aunt about saving Jessie's old cast recordings and slowly shipping them to Jessie one by one, Jessie was truly thankful that her aunt had saved the items. The items that Jessie previously associated with a past that she didn't want to remember were now going to be the very items that propelled Jessie into a future that she could only dream of. Jessie was ready, though. This summer music program could mean a bigger opportunity and a brighter future. Not only would the training be helpful, but the exposure to some of the best and the brightest in the business could mean lots of chances to network and to make a good impression.

As Jessie located the files on her hard drive and started the burning process, she started to play back the music that she listed. Closing her eyes, Jessie remembered all the tiny details of the productions. A flood of memories came crashing back; the smell of the grease paint, the little prickly things in her costume, the textures, the lights, the hustle and bustle of back stage life. Of all of the little things that she would experience, the part she liked the best was being on the stage. Jessie felt most alive while she was on stage. No matter what the part, she always got a rush as the curtains went up. Even though the audience was almost completely obscured by the lights, she could feel their presence whenever she was out on the boards. Jessie had learned long ago how to entertain. She could make the audience laugh and cry with just the power of her voice. She wanted to show people how to feel her entire life. Now, she could have an even greater impact.

While Jessie was lost in her thoughts, a soft purring noise and a warm weight suddenly became evident and urgent in her mind. It was the kitten. He had finally come out of his hiding spot.

“Hey, kitty, kitty,” Jessie softly crooned as she started to scratch the fuzz ball between the ears. “Did you finally come out to see what's going on?” Jessie continued to pet the cat while he continued to purr. “We need to give you a name,” Jessie thought out loud.

While Jessie was pondering a name for her cat, the music changed to the chant she was asked to perform for the wedding of a former classmate. Although Jessie was Catholic herself, she very much enjoyed the ceremonies and the prayers of the the Catholics. As Jessie was pondering while looking the cat over, she unconsiously started to sing along:
"Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae,

vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.
Ad te clamamus, exsules filii Hevae,
ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
in hac lacrimarum valle.

Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos

misericordes oculos ad nos converte;

et Jesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui,

nobis post hoc exilium ostende.

O clemens, O pia, O dulcis Virgo Maria.

Ora pro nobis sancta Dei Genetrix.

Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi

Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae,
vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.
Ad te clamamus, exsules filii Hevae,
ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes

Oremus. Omnipotens sempiterne Deus,
qui gloriosae Virginis Matris Mariae corpus et animam
ut dignum Filii tui habitaculum effici mereretur, Spiritu Sancto
cooperante praeparasti: da, ut cujus commemoratione laetamur
ejus pia intercessione, ab instantibus malis
et a morte perpetua liberemur

Per eumdem Christum Dominum nostrum.
Amen.

Day 1 - 1411 words in 3 hours - notes in main journal

She never really knew her mother. That is to say, she doesn't remember her much at all. She has a vague memory; her mother singing, her mother's hair blowing in the breeze as the sunlight back lit her frame, blocking out all features. When she was a bit older, she saw pictures of her mother, she even had one by her bed. It was a family picture; her mother, her father and her, all smiling for the camera. She was almost two in that picture. She still keeps that picture wherever she goes. It helps to remind her of where she comes from.

Time has passed now, so much time, she can't believe how long it's been and how far she's come, how far the world has come. The world is a totally different place than when she was a child, yet it's finally the world she thought it was then. She was not surprised when the change occurred, it seemed like it was a long time coming, but the time was finally right. She took a deep breath, it was almost time.

*****

Her mother died when she was three, she doesn't remember when they told her, she just remembers the day: her aunt came over & spent the day playing with her. Her aunt seemed a little sad at the time, so she remembers trying to put on a show for her. She dressed up in her feather boa & her play high-heeled shoes with her big, floppy easter hat that she picked out herself. She danced & told jokes. To end the show, she started singing the song her mom used to sing to her. Her aunt really started to cry then. She thought that it was because she messed up in the middle.

“Don' cwai Ana Beth. Mommy'll hep me 'membew when she gets home,” she said in her 3-year-old drawl using her “big girl” words. Her aunt just smiled & wiped away the tears, but they never seemed to stop.

Two days later, they put her mother in the ground. She gave her mom her blanket & her favorite bear to take to Heaven with her. She finally understood what was going on. It was just her & her dad.

A few weeks later, she was in tears as she left her Sunday School classroom. They had moved far away from the rest of her family so that her dad could take a better job. She hated the new place with all the fury that a 3- almost 4-year-old could muster.

“What's wrong, sweetie?” her father questioned as she stormed out of the room with tears streaming down her face.

“I HATE IT HERE!” she yelled as she started to storm off toward the door. “I want to go HOME!” Her father grabbed her by the shoulders and stopped her retreat.

“We can go in just a second, honey, but you have to tell me what happened, “ he replied, squatting down to get on eye-lever with the squirming child.

“First everyone was talking about how great their mom is and how they got really cool stuff for her for today. Then the teacher asked me what I got for my mom. When I said that my mom is with Jesus, Tommy Gilbert started laughin' at me and callin' me a weirdo. When I told him I wasn't a weirdo, he just laughed again an' started singin' 'weirdo, weirdo, your momma had a beard-o.' That's when I got up and slapped him in the mouth.” She took a deep breath. “The next thing I knew, Miss Helen had me standing in the corner while Tommy was taken to the toy room. It's just not fair, daddy! I don't have a momma here so I get put in the corner while Tommy gets to go play with the toys!” She was bawling and collapsed into a heap in her father's arms. Her father scooped her up and started to comfort her.

“There, there,” he soothed as he smoothed her hair and patted her back. “It'll be alright.”he said as he started to wipe away her tears. “Let's go talk to mean 'ol Miss Helen and see what's going on.”

“Oh, dear,” Miss Helen sighed as Jessie & her daddy approached, “I do believe it's my fault.”

Miss Helen explained that they were having a class discussion about Mother's Day & that Tommy Gilbert started acting up right after they started. She had called Mister Jameston in there to help her keep control of the boys since Tommy seemed to set all of the boys off. When it was Jessie's turn to speak, Tommy was really amped up and would barely sit still. When Jessie said that her mommy had gone to Heaven to be with Jesus, Tommy jumped up and told the class that there was a girl in his class at school that had two daddies & that his daddy had said that anyone who didn't have both a mommy & a daddy was weird. When Tommy started to call Jessie weird and sing the chant that he made up, all of the boys and some of the girls started to join in. While Miss Helen and Mister Jameston tried to get the class to calm down, Jessie got up, walked over to Tommy Gilbert and punched him in the nose. As soon as Tommy saw the blood on his shirt, it was all over. Tommy started to bawl his eyes out when he saw the blood on his shirt. When Miss Helen took Jessie to the corner, Mister Jameston took Tommy in the bathroom to clean him up. After Mister Jameston helped Tommy clean his face, Mister Jameston took Tommy into the hall to sit him there until Mister Jameston was able to go get Tommy's father.

“And now I feel a little guilty about it because the Sunday school board wanted to split the three-year-old class into girls and boys, but I didn't feel like it was necessary at this age, “ Miss Helen sighed. “I really should have listened to them. They thought that something like this would happen. But I thought that the boys would be cammed by the presence of the girls, most all the girls are so good, including your Jessie.” Miss Helen smiled a little at Jessie while Jessie wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I'm sure Jessie never would have acted that way if Tommy Gilbert hadn't of started the whole thing. I swear, Tommy can be such a handful sometimes,” Miss Helen sighed again. “Unfortunately, I couldn't just let Jessie's behavior slide by. Not only was it not proper behavior for church, it also wasn't very lady-like behavior either.” Jessie's daddy chucked a little bit.

“Well, Miss Helen, I don't think that there was much more that you could have done,” Jessie's daddy said as he stood up. “I don't see anything wrong with what you did, but I did need to hear your side of the matter before I made a decision. Come on, Jessie, Let's go.” Jessie's daddy grabbed her hand and headed towards the door. Jessie tripped along behind her daddy while they walked towards the car.

“Am I in trouble?” Jessie asked as her daddy strapped her into her car seat.

“No, honey,” he replied. “You just need to make sure that you control your temper, that's all. The people in this city are different than the people in Oklahoma. They have a different set of expectations for little girls. When you're in this area, the people expect a little girl to act like a lady. That means that you can't punch little boys and you can't do cartwheels when you're in your dress either. You'll need to watch yourself out here, kiddo.” Jessie leaned her head back against the seat and sighed. She didn't like to hear about the things she couldn't do. Her daddy continued, “I know you don't like to hear all this, little one, but you'll understand all of this later. Right now, I want you to focus on having fun and being a kid, but there are still things you have to do,” Jessie's daddy looked at her in the rear view mirror and smiled. “I know it's not that important now, but you'll need to be ready when you start school here in a few weeks. Pay attention to your teachers, they'll teach you a lot.”

LESS THAN 12 HOURS!!!!

THREE DAYS!!! WOOHOO!!!